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Funny Depression Quotes

1. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Worthless   |    Self Esteem   |    Sad but Funny   |    Funny Motivational   |

2. Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Depression   |    Diagnosis   |    Self Esteem   |

3. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Therapy   |    Peace   |    Better   |    Feel Good   |    Cake Puns   |

4. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Psychiatry   |    Self Hate   |    Funny Motivational   |    Sad but Funny   |

5. My wife says she's leaving me because of my addiction to antidepressants. So I thought about it and realized; that's great, then I won't need them anymore.

   

Tags: Funny Wife   |    Addiction   |    Funny Depression   |    Realization   |

6. I saw a book titled "Anxiety and Depression for Dummies" yesterday in the store... Not sure if it is appropriate to label someone looking for mental help a "dummy".

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Anxious   |    Depression   |    Dumbness   |    Self Help   |

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7. A man walks into the library. "Hello ma'am I'd like to borrow a book about committing suicide"

The librarian replies, "No,you won't give it back"

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Suicide   |

8. The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Suicide   |    Catch 22   |    Paradox   |

9. If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I'm so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me- Donut, cause I'm so empty inside

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Emptiness   |    Loneliness   |    Funny Food   |    Donut Puns   |

10. My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Depression   |    Irony   |

11. They say people are 75% water But I'm 100% useless

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Useless   |    Self Doubt   |

12. You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |

13. So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 23 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Joke   |

14. Why doesn't my egg wants to crack? Because I hate my egg-sistence.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Existential Crisis   |

15. Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died.
Student 2: My sister has depression and she's going to Therapy.
Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he's Doing REALLY Well

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Depression   |    Negativity   |    Good Vibes   |

16. Me: Knock knock
Friend: who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Existential Crisis   |    Knock Knock   |

17. friend: how's it going?
me: good, things are good!

parent: how are you?
me: oh I'm fine!

Twitter: compose new tweet?
me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Nothing To Hide   |    Feelings   |

18. "Sorry, just seeing this now!"
-Me to my deep seeded childhood trauma

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Trauma   |    Raising Children   |

19. me: [getting my heart shattered into a million pieces] haha no worries

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Nothing To Hide   |    Speak   |    Express Yourself   |    Heart Break   |

20. when you're depressed but you still want to encourage your friends

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Funny Motivational   |    Encouragement   |

21. My friend Billy Bob and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri. Billy Bob opened up and said that he was actually in a fourth state; crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry"
"... but you can't count Missouri twice."

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    America   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Deep Jokes   |

22. The other day I tried an escape room called depression
And I did not escape

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Running Away   |

23. Whats the difference between a Ferrari and Depression?

I don't have the Ferrari.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Ferrari   |    Difference   |

24. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Saturday, Sunday.

   

Tags: Funny Depression   |    Anger   |    Denial   |    Depression   |    Accept   |    Saturday   |    Sunday   |

25. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.

   

Tags: Coffee Puns   |    Funny Depression   |

26. Why did the donut start going to therapy?

It couldn't get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!

   

Tags: Donut Puns   |    Therapy   |    Funny Depression   |

27. There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

- Woody Hayes

   

Tags: Life Struggle   |    Soul   |    Hitting Rock Bottom   |    Hardship   |    Difficulty   |    Funny Motivational   |    Funny Depression   |

28. When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show life that you got biryani to smile.

   

Tags: Biryani   |    Funny Life   |    Funny Depression   |    Funny Hindi   |    Funny Motivational   |    Sad but Funny   |    Funny Instagram Captions   |    Funny Food   |

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Source: https://readbeach.com/quotes/tag/funny-depression

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